Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Spend the next few weeks pooping on your balcony.

I love college. I love Provo. I love this boy who lives by me but wont text me. I’m back in Provo and I’ve already learned so much about life and how to take it down. I will now share. This is the opposite of my last post if you haven’t caught on yet. Its like my apology blog for such sadness. Wheres Wallace when you need him??? SO THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO LIVE IT UP!

GUTS. Everyone has em, some use em. You need guts so you can walk over to a man’s house with your number in your hand. You know where he lives due to your one previous conversation that went very well and he told you where he lived and invited you over anytime. Note to idiots: everyone says that just to be polite, nobody expects you to actually go over. But when GUTS get in the way. You have no choice. P.s. never search guts on Google image.

Secret pathway to Rancheritos. This is a rare commodity, if you don’t have one, make one. Get some trucks, some burritos, whatever it takes!

Balcony food fights. If you don’t have balconys. You can stand on the cinder block you might find stuck in your house on the third floor. Thatll come in handy… after the food fight you will find grapes really DO turn into raisins. The birds really WILL come. And one giant one will lay eggs in your flower pot and spend the next few weeks pooping on your balcony.

Men dressed as Indians in speedos on skateboards with bow and arrows. This means you have good neighbors.

An idea for a brilliant movie that will make you rich. Ahem! There’s that movie the computer wore tennis shoes. Computer wore tennis shoes… followed by an intense sequel of computer gore tennis shoes. The computer will destroy all and leave nothing but tennis shoes behind! Followed by and even more intense film computer whore tennis shoes. All good things come in trilogys. And this. This is money.

Life is SWEET. And it lasts a long time and never runs outta flavah.

uh. i guess the stuff i wrote under the pictures felt a little unnoticed due to the greatness above them and decided to make themselves stand out. if someone with magic powers such as nick wants to fix that...


  1. I'm not fixing anything til my name is Capitalized haha

  2. well im not capitalizing it till you send me the ab picture.