Saturday, December 25, 2010
Feliz Navidad if you hablas espanol.
Frohe Weihnachten - German
Gezuar Krishtlindjet - Albanian
Fete Nwel - Hatain Creole (For Jake)
Bon Nadal - Catalan
Vesale Vanoce - Dutch
Selamat Hari Krismas - Malay
And of course Merry Christmas to all of you in North America that I like!
Friday, December 17, 2010
I am here to save nick from over exerting himself and talking too much. I am here. Nick informs me what I write is HIT OR MISS! Wtf. I HAVE A MILLION HITS. Everybody loves me. Okay now that that is cleared up. I have an issue. Nick also said that my best post was the bicycle bob one… for any of you less than perfect fans ill have you know that was A YEAR AGO. That means I’ve had a year of dead… BUT Bicycle Bob was still good so in celebration of Bicycle Bob! Today I will tell you about Bums. Between five and six hundred thousand people are considered homeless at any given time in America. 60% of those are single men. So is a bum just someone who is homeless? No… that would be very stereotypical and would probably offend my friends.
ONE TIME. Me and my friends… (these friends were a few fries short of a happy meal if you know what I mean) threw a TV over an overpass into this tunnel that ran along side a river. Two of my friends were down below and when I yelled can we drop it the river was so loud that I didn’t hear them yell NO DON’T DROP IT. So we dropped it. And we started to run down to see. We thought it might have magic glitter coming out of it. But then my two friends are running back up like no no run run and this crazy guy was chasing them with a piece of the TV. Jk. They were yelling no no theres someone down there. We thought we were in trouble so we peeled out in our pre planned get away car. We went back the next day to clean up the TV and saw that someone was living under the bridge. SO always check for Bums before tossing your TV. They live under bridges.
ANOTHER TIME. We found this very talkative bum who sold us a packet of jokes for like 5 bucks. Jk I wasn’t there but my friend was and the jokes were really funny. SO Bums are funny.
THIS TIME. We talked to this bum who was telling us how sick they were and we gave him an asian drink and said it would make him better. Im telling the truth to you but we might’ve been just kidding to the bum because we aren’t doctors and the drink had no english on it. SO Bums are trusting.
THIS TIME IN SALT LAKE. We stood in line for like an hour to get this bum a hot dog. SO bums are hungry. And I have a lot of time.
THE BEST TIMES. These previous times were in Utah. But the BEST TIMES were with as you know the famous Bicycle Bob in Latrobe, PA. You’ll have to see The Legend of Bicycle Bob post for that. SO Bums are more popular when they have bikes and nicknames and are one of the few in a town. Oh P town why don’t you give your bums bikes.
So Homeless people spend a lot of time in jail and in the hospital. I feel bad I see them on their good days. Who bails them out of jail? Who visits them in the hospital? Do they have bum friends? Because they are always alone and have issues so I don’t think so. This is depressing. Sorry maybe I’ll get my hit next time. I have to go save the world or something now. I recycle… and sometime I carry my groceries without bags… eh…oh… uh… Nothing will be enough.
So of late I have noticed some new disturbing trends on Facebook. That is its uncanny ability to pair two random statuses from people who have never met but happen to be sharing a similar thought, right next to each other on my news feed. It all started with this:
This may look familiar to many of you. Facebook can combine things now. Not that big of a deal right? Well here's one that might catch your scarcly impressed demeanor!These two people have never met each other, I can assure you. One being Sterling's sister, and the other from College. So how does Facebook do it? I'm not sure... I'm only concerned about when Facebook tries editing people's relationship statuses based on similar comments or similar pictures. Facebook : Matchmaker...
Continuing on from here are just fun statuses I've collected, some are funny because they were next to each other, others are ironic, and some are just funny. Enjoy:Glass half full?Irony...
This was in the middle of all the complaints about the naked scene in Harry Potter! As much as I miss Dallin... he was a dirtbag that night...
Does this deserve a "Go America?" You decide.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I was a weird kid in High school. I'm well aware of that fact, I just had no idea that it would pay off so well! Here's what I did. Scag and I were in the Library one day during lunch when we somehow decided to make a giant set of clues leading to a prize. We put the first clue somewhere where we knew people would find it and then proceeded to spread more clues throughout the library. We would put little pieces of paper saying, "Clue [whatever number] Next clue located [some clever riddle]" We hid them behind library Dewey Decimal signs, below the printer, and usually, on random pages of certain books. We had to put the last clue in a book that people are the least likely to read, so, for no real reason, we chose the book Our Town.
On the final clue, we wrote my phone number (I like to write my name and number on things too, Nicole...) on a small piece of paper and said that if they texted me I would give them a prize. We thought we were incredibly clever and cool. Little did I know that we actually WERE! Guess what I text received today?
"'Rubber wheel thorn winner'" - random (303) number
"Um... what?!" - My response
"I found a paper in a book that said I won... what did I win? Hahha"
"Sounds like you may have stumbled upon a free rubber wheel with a thorn in it! lucky..."
"Hahhhahaha!! Who is this?" (yes... there really were 3 'h's in a row...)
"nick. I meant to ask you the same thing... eventually"
"Did you read Our Town?"
"That's the book I found it in. Do you go to Grandview?"
"HOLY CRAP! I totally forgot about that! You just made my day! You even texted me! and yes I went to Grandview"
"How long ago?"
"Was I at Grandview? I graduated in '09. Did you have to read our town for a class or just checked it out?"
"I just checked it out. Hahha. I'm a Junior this year."
... conversation becomes boring from here on.
Someone actually found it! Granted they skipped all the clues and just found the ending... but still! And on top of that they actually texted the number! For that, I forgive them for not ever spelling 'haha' right! Despite the great amount of frustration that created.
I forgot how much fun doing dumb stuff like that was! I sure didn't expect anyone to actually contact a random number on a piece of paper in a library book. But for the first day this year, I am not a cynical man! Humans rock (at least until tomorrow)!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
AND THEN THIS HAPPENS:
Why on Earth don't we have a freaking Lightsaber Club at BYU?! We have Medieval club! And people study like, mid-1200's German sword style and ridiculousness like that! So where is the Lightsaber club?! The goals would be so obvious: A. Learn how to fight with plastic lightsabers. 2 or B. Annoy the medieval club. 3. Find a way to travel back in time and fire whoever thought Jar Jar Binx was a good idea. So why hasn't anyone organized it yet?
Well you know what they say, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. Here's what I want: A Lightsaber training club that can practice right next to "The Quill and the Sword" medieval club! Here they are:
And yes, the instructor does have to be both Asian and bald, or Yoda. I think the most entertainment will come when the other club is angry and say that we aren't taking martial arts seriously, which of course will be 100% true (sorry random martial artist out there who specializes in 1200's medieval German swordsmanship and also reads this blog... maybe).
The instructors will have to wear full Jedi costumes, which, conveniently, there is an entire website dedicated to sale of Star Wars costumes: http://www.buystarwarscostumes.com/ . Its real too! Only $38.99!!
This will have to wait til after the mission of course. So it falls into my PriorityQueue of other clubs in progress:
1) Hot Tub Club - meets in random apartments' Hot Tubs every Wednesday. Never mind, meets everyday.
2) Lightsaber Club - Discussed above.
3) The Club Club - A club designed for making ideas for clubs, but never actually doing it. Probably only one meeting... Then again... BYUSA has already been doing this for years...
4) Turtle Racing Club - BYU has a need of it.
5) The Flaming Mustache Club! - Its only lowered to #5 because the flaming mustache is gone, and we'd be on hiatus. It would have been an easy #1 last year. We could sacrifice facial hair to the mustache. Or all grow mustaches that we would then burn off. Oh wow... I just realized that I would be great at making a cult...
Anyways, who am I to make fun of sci-fi? I have a man-crush on Doctor Who right now. Not to mention, I actually think that Youtube video up there is super cool. If I ever make a movie with my Lightsaber Club I'm totally starting a fight with that script up top. But it will probably be a somewhat low quality film...
Now I leave you with a quote by some guys arguing behind LeBron James: "Why, in the expanded universe, would Luke fly something as archaic as a T-wing?!"
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
"Today is an anniversary of one of the greatest days in the history of the world! And no, I'm not talking about Columbus Day! (Although I do believe in Columbus) Today is the anniversary of the time that a drunk suicidal man drove into my school! Best Day Ever! All I know is I had a math test I wasn't ready for and went to bed super depressed! Never have emotions gone from absolutely awful to just plain amazing in such a little amount of time!
Monday, October 11, 2010
I miss you like Cindy-Lou misses Christmas. Please either 1) start writing on the blog - OR - 2) move back to Colorado. I know you haven't even left yet and I'll be in Utah the whole time anyways... But what am I supposed to do over Christmas break? I simply can't wait until you finally get to BYU! Plus, if you go on a mission, that's even longer... I shudder at the thought! What if I meet another Sterling before you get home? You can't ask me to give up 2 years of my life! Even so, Tu es mas guapissimo que la voz de Morgan Freeman.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
As with most things I own, I have been doing my best to destroy my vehicular mobile. In my years of driving I have been able to trade paint with 4 other cars. Only one of which was a moving car (the only one I'm not responsible for), because my eyes are focused on movement. You become invisible if you stand still long enough. Then on top of that Ive been able to break my blinker and knock off my mirror with a pillar and a cement curb. Not to mention totaling the Infiniti... In this entry, I would like to clarify my struggles...
Sixth Accident - Mrs. Prego
Damage - Estimated damage cost: $2,100 to my car. Damage and injury to her: unknown.
Summary - Wow... This list is getting WAAAY too long. I started it thinking. Well at least this will be a short blog post. But I guess I'm just a pretty terrible driver. This explains why my Dad was so clear every time I would take a car driving this summer. ("Don't get in a wreck!")
Anyways, D-bone and I were driving home from work when we stopped at a light. As I leaned down to change the radio, I sorta let go of the break. Next thing I knew I watched in slow motion as the Infiniti's hood bent upwards. Its like how I've always imagined mountains being raised from the Earth. I got out of the car upset and who comes out but a 6 month, already looks like she's gonna pop, pregnant woman. You've gotta be kidding me! We agreed that all the damage was to my car and that she was fine. * note: She was fine until the next day when her insurance called me claiming damage AND injury... some people obviously deserve this:
GO GOOD DRIVERS IN AMERICA!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I love college. I love Provo. I love this boy who lives by me but wont text me. I’m back in Provo and I’ve already learned so much about life and how to take it down. I will now share. This is the opposite of my last post if you haven’t caught on yet. Its like my apology blog for such sadness. Wheres Wallace when you need him??? SO THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO LIVE IT UP!
GUTS. Everyone has em, some use em. You need guts so you can walk over to a man’s house with your number in your hand. You know where he lives due to your one previous conversation that went very well and he told you where he lived and invited you over anytime. Note to idiots: everyone says that just to be polite, nobody expects you to actually go over. But when GUTS get in the way. You have no choice. P.s. never search guts on Google image.
Secret pathway to Rancheritos. This is a rare commodity, if you don’t have one, make one. Get some trucks, some burritos, whatever it takes!
Life is SWEET. And it lasts a long time and never runs outta flavah.
uh. i guess the stuff i wrote under the pictures felt a little unnoticed due to the greatness above them and decided to make themselves stand out. if someone with magic powers such as nick wants to fix that...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
At the beginning of the summer, my old cassette adapter that allowed me to play my Ipod in the car finally bit the dust. Due to this unfortunate event, I was forced to do something that I almost never did before- listen to the radio.
And the radio sucks.
You either have the hip hop, top 40 stations, the classic rock stations, or 93.3. They all play the same songs, every day, all the time. The same terrible, eardrum-violating songs. At first I stuck to the classic rock stations, but it only took a week or two to realize that out of all the rock songs they could choose from, they only played these songs:
Listen to the Music by the Doobie Brothers,
Proud Mary by Creedence Clearwater Revival,
The Joker by Steve Miller Band,
Any song by Led Zeppelin that isn’t actually good.
Needless to say, after hearing “Whoa-o-OOOOOH, listen to the music” until my ears started crying hippie tears, I tried 93.3. I was swiftly reminded that 93.3 only plays music made by rock bands with lead singers who still wear diapers and were probably anatomically female 5 years ago.
Finally, I had no choice but to turn to the Top 40 stations.
In Denver, these stations are 95.7, 107.1, and 107.5. These stations take variety to a level even lower than your neighborhood lemonade stand.
They rotate between about 5 songs, give or take, usually depending on how much they hate your ears. My 13 year-old sister brought these stations to my attention, because I have to drive her a lot. Anyone who has had a 13 year-old sister knows, their word is law, and swift retribution awaits any older brother who attempts to retaliate. At first I angrily accepted her wishes. But now, I listen to the stations whenever I drive. Not because I enjoy the music, nor because I hate myself-I have a greater purpose than that.
Let me explain.
These stations have such deficient variety that you’ll find two of them playing the same song simultaneously more often than you find Lil’ Wayne in prison. The prevalence of the event is astounding. However, I’m searching for another event that as of yet remains theoretical.
I call it.
Every drive is a new mission. I shuffle through the stations constantly. I get two stations all the time. But never the Trifecta. No, it eludes me... for now
I’m calling out to whoever reads this, join me in my search! This event must be possible, and it will not stay unnoticed for long. If anyone reading this discovers the Trifecta, their reward will be eternal fame and glory in revealing how abysmally useless the radio truly is. And I’ll give you a tasty fruit basket too.
UPDATE: At the time of writing, this event remained unobserved, until NOW! My girlfriend Felicia can now be credited as the first human being ever to observe the trifecta, with the song being “DJ Got Us Fallin in Love” by Usher and Shih Tzu (I think that’s his name--some sort of dog).
Well wait, not really.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
It all happened earlier this summer when D-bone and myself began looking for a job. After weeks of constant rejection, we stumbled upon a moving company called, "Bailey's Moving and Storage" to which I sold my soul by signing my name in blood... (I can't believe I didn't find that suspicious) I agreed to call in every night to see if I was working the next day. That's right, I never knew my schedule until the night before, and even then you don't get off until the job is done, not at a predetermined time. Some days you'll stay til midnight, some days til noon. You just never know... Speaking of which........ Well... working at 745 tomorrow. So like I was saying, you can't plan ahead at all! Which really really bites. Even the occasional excitement of a day off isn't enough to make up for it. My favorite part of the experience is the people I get to work with (yes, that even exceeds the unbelievably large muscles I have acquired). Most all of them have spent time in prison for one thing or another. In fact it surprised me while talking to another worker that he had not been to jail. You know you've worked at Bailey's too long when you've forgotten that most people don't go to jail.
So today I started at 715, and as usual, sat around for a little while before we leaving the warehouse. When we got to the place we were supposed to move, as usual we couldn't guess what time we would get off. It wasn't until around 4 pm we knew we were in trouble. I was trapped in a single room all day (as I often am...) loading stuff onto wheels to push onto the truck. So while I'm working, a guy named Raul walks in and starts talking negetively about the job. He starts saying that we'd be there for another 5 hours. I was ticked! First of all, we'd been there for..evvv..ver. For EEEVVV er, and secondly, I thought all we had left was a bunch of giant glass windows and a couple doors. So I made a bet with him. I bet him that we'd be done around 8 at the latest. He said 920. So I took him up on it. If we got back at 919 or earlier, he would owe me a soda. 920 on I owed him one.
I felt pretty dang confident that he'd owe me a soda, and so did the rest of the crew. Sure enough, we had our job load lessened by the manager of the building letting us get rid of some of the boxes that would have cost us another 2 hours. We kept working, now approaching 545 and all that was left was a bunch of giant glass windows and a couple doors. No problem. We started on the giant glass windows. They sure didn't move very fast though, and they were stinkin heavy.
Finally, we were just about finished around 730 or so. The crew was tired and sick of working. Even more sick of our manager. But that was ok, because we'd knocked out the entire room we were responsible for, and upstairs was done already. All we had left was a bunch of giant glass windows and a couple doors. Then it hit me, what the heck?! How the crap had 3 hours of working pass, and yet we had made NO progress!
I couldn't believe it... we drove home after finally finishing, leaving the job site at 853. I had to watch the clock count up to 919 as we pulled into the warehouse. As we park the car, Raul and I both take a glance at the car clock. 920. I'm serious. Exactly 920. Everyone in the car even knew about the bet, and just gave me endless torment. How'd he do it? Raul had predicted our arrival time, to the exact minute, over 5 hours previous! And now I owe him a soda! Ridiculous!
So I guess I write to much so I'm going to stop there for now. I have plenty of stories for another time. Just though I would wipe out the exposition of my summer now so that I can build upon it later. My overall review of working at Baileys? 2 little moving figurines, out of 5.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
1. A side kick. (Quality of side kick goes down drastically when they are overly involved with their boyfriend)
2. A man friend.
3. Time to see all the little people.
Here’s the list of things that you don’t want.
1. Life consuming job with bullies and ex man friend.
2. Over controlling and opinionated parents.
3. Another mean ex man friend.
4. To be a million miles away from your favorite people.
Alright so when none of the first list is present and the entire second list is present youre left with…. Well… I call this goin crazy. Once youre already gone you do things to keep you going. Such as.
1. Give your bully a friendship bracelet.
2. Tell your ex man friend youre glad youre enemies and to BRING IT ON.
3. Pour your water bottle on your head as you leave work in hopes that you will drown. ( If its raining you may need a few bottles to get the same effect)
4. Talk to every stranger and make friends for the day. (try to avoid clingy people)
I love making lists. But I must clarify NONE of this is specific to my life. I’m just trying to paint a picture here. Picture… picture… oh! I forgot the mandatory picture!
Friday, June 25, 2010
My fear all started when I was a little boy. Vulnerable, and much closer to the size of a spider. I was on every little kids favorite field trip. A trip to the Butterfly Pavilion. Oh butterflies, how I loved them. So peaceful and friendly and not-arachnid like. I looked forward to seeing them fly above my head; however, my teacher, in an loosely-symbolic attempt to cure racism, decided that ALL insects deserved our attention and admiration. "Whether they be black, or white, or yellow, or hideous and deadly, it didn't matter because everyone and everything was equal!" She would say with a subtle jab at Hitler.
So I was dragged away from the Butterfly door with painted rainbows and smiling suns and forced to face the Spider room. 'Fine', thought I, 'I'm a boy, I'm supposed to like these better anyways!' At least until I saw one crawling across the hands of a "Trainer" woman. A big hairy freak from Space that probably crash landed on this planet and single-handedly destroyed the dinosaurs.
'F THIS!' thought I coolly, as I began to back away from the monster. But no, the Spider lady would not be denied. No more children would leave her for the lowly butterfly trainer woman, NO! She called me back, and I was forced to endure her attempt to brainwash me into thinking the freakish being was just misunderstood, not dangerous, but my instincts knew otherwise. Regardless, I, being young, fell for her temptation and allowed the alien creature to crawl across my hand. I hated it, but it was over quickly and no physical damage was done. So she let me go.
I was then shepherded to a see a rare species of Spider, a breed of Venezuelan Jumping Spider that can jump several inches or even a few feet. Yes... Jump... Once again, I found myself front and center to prove to the other children that the spider really can jump and was put in front of the smaller, but no less formidable beast. We stared at each other, our mutual hatred clearly visible. And then it was gone! I heard a gasp from the audience and then applause. My confusion increased wondering what sort of magic trick this lady had performed that was able to get rid of the spider and hoping she would teach it to all of us. It was then I looked on my sleeve and found him there, challenging me.
Needless to say I screamed like Tanner Hall with broken ankles (well worth a youtube trip) and swatted at my enemy throwing him hurtling towards the ground. The 'trainer' was visually upset at me, even scolded me! To this day I can't believe this! She sent her best attack, so I sent mine. How is that not fair? I was in trouble for overreacting, but a freaking deadly Venezuelan terror had attached itself to me! Its not even like I killed it or anything, despite best efforts... To add to this horror, I threw up all over the floor upon finally entering the butterfly room, having all my built up nerves release. Then they shuttled me back to the bus to sit alone as all the other children had butterflies fly all around them...
So I believe my intense fear comes from that fateful day. Every Spider I approach I fear lest it will be a Jumping spider, which evidently account for "about 13% of all species" (Thank you Wikipdia.org - Jumping Spider for providing that terrifying fact).
Oh but my ridiculously long story doesn't end there. No no no. Our hero, yours truly (feel free to picture me in a gleaming suit of armor), has yet to vanquish the world of the terrifying foe. This brings me to last week and another long story.
And there lies its dead body... RIP... No... Nevermind... Burn forever in a lake of fire and brimstone dirtbag!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
If you have ever seen Adventure Land. WHICH YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE. Its rated R. not for loiterers. BUT Adventure Land is filmed in PITTSBURGH at Kennywood… our sister park. This movie depicts my job as a worker in games (as James said the little stands where you win stuffed animals) as... well the worst job in the world. WRONG! My job is hilarious. Although I am stuck in a small box all day with socially off co workers I never miss the family gathering in front of the fountain for a nice family photo… and getting soaked when the wind comes. This is in the Idlewild section of the park. The soak zone section looks more like this.
There’s the obsessive parents that will spend 50 dollars just so that all three of their kids can walk away with a giant dinosaur full of foam beans that will fall out the next day so that they are left with something that can’t even stand up because the heads too big and there’s now a hole in the neck, and my favorite and yours the kids who want to play the game and they argue with you when you try to explain the game yelling “don’t listen to her she just wants your money!” After three years I have decided that amusement parks are full of crazy people. Both workers and guests.
At least I get to know all the season pass holders. They collect stuffed star fish in every color and know if you have a really cute baby you can get free tries at throwing the ball into the toilet, and they don't have to spend five dollars before they realize the basketball hoop is not standard size.
Okay soo… I guess it’s more boring than I lead on… I guess ill just stop now. While you kids are doing cool summer things like going to the beach and flying kites. Think of me in my little stand providing the finest in family fun and entertainment and next time you’re at an amusement park remember there’s more to life than that giant dinosaur and just walk away.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sometimes you gotta suck it up and embarrass yourself for the sake of entertainment and obnoxiously long titles
When I was 10, our Destination Imagination team kicked so much [CENSORED VULGARITY *GASP*] that we made the Global Finals in Knoxville, Tennessee. The entire trip was a pretty amazing experience, but I think the day at Dollywood takes the cake as far as making it memorable.
So Dollywood is an amusement park, with funnel cakes and attractions and the little stands that you can win stuffed animals from and…roller coasters. At this particular point in my life, I had not ridden anything even remotely close to a roller coaster. As far as 10 year-old James was concerned, they were killer hellbeasts, and I could too clearly imagine my seatbelt failing and myself flying through the air, landing in a flattened heap on the ground, bones broken and pants soiled. However, this didn’t stop Nick. Nick was going to get me to ride on the Tennessee Tornado, whether I liked it or not. Now at the time, the Tennessee Tornado was Dollywood’s prime roller coaster. It featured a hair-raising drop straight into a cave thing, only to come out and do TWO full loops. Loops as in upside down. Being upside down. On a roller coaster. Understandably I was not so keen.
Somehow, and I still don’t know how exactly, I ended up sitting beside Nick, getting strappedinto the freaking Tennessee Tornado. Oh, the back of the train too, because “the back is the mostintense.” Thanks Nick. So we go off. Sweat is pouring off my face. However, I'm feeling moderately ok as we climb up the hill.
We go down the drop…
And I rise out of my seat….
And I don’t think I’ve ever, before or since, ever so totally and certainly felt like I was going to die. My heart started racing, I closed my eyes and held onto my restraint as hard as I could. It was awful. I was still reeling from it as we got off the ride.
Oh, is the story boring you? Well, that was pretty much the introduction…
Nick wants to go a second time. Feeling like one near-death experience was enough for the day, I refused. And refused. And refused.
And then there I was, sitting beside Nick. On the Tennessee Tornado. In the back. But this time, I knew what to expect. And I was WAY more nervous. I kept replaying the drop in my head, over and over again. I was starting to panic. I could feel my heart racing. This was not good. I wanted to get off. But my shoulder restraint was on. I was trapped. The train was moving.
So I tried to keep my cool. I took deep breaths, I closed my eyes. We started to approach the hill when…
The ride stops.
And we sit there. And sit there…
I’m still not sure how this happened, honestly, but with the ride stopping and the attendants coming up to us to tell us there’s just a small “issue” or something that needs to be taken care of,
See this peaceful, relaxing scene? Imagine the exact opposite.
Instantaneously, I transformed into a blubbering, screaming mess, begging for anyone to take my off that horrific death machine. I was pulling at my restraint, screaming at the ride attendants, generally doing my best to get the point across that I had completely lost my mind and I was going to do whatever it took to get off of the hellbeast. The people around me were desperately trying to get me to calm down, even though I really wasn’t aware of it. The funniest part of this whole thing though is that through at least 20 minutes of me being in full-scale freak out, the attendants never let me off the ride. They repeatedly told me throughout the ordeal that they couldn’t let me off. Secretly, I think they just enjoyed the sight of a 10 year-old who was absolutely convinced he was about to die. I still hate them to this day.
So the ride finally started again, we did the drop and the loops and my pants somehow stayed clean, and then it was over. I was still wiping tears from my face as we walked off. Needless to say, there were no more rides for me that day. I was ridiculed by Nick and the other members of the DI team for quite a while after that. Now though, I’ve made peace with the fact that I was a complete sissy. And that’s why I’m here today; to share my embarrassing past with the world. Peace out.
Monday, May 10, 2010
1) I now have the ability to catch anything that falls out of cupboards or freezers. Really! I just noticed this talent a few weeks ago when some jar of strawberries fell out of the freezer and I caught it and put it back mindlessly. Suddenly I realized, I catch falling stuff every time I open the freezer!
2) Home is not only where the heart is. Home is where there is food, that you didn't buy, but that you can eat.
3) How weird it is that the rest of the world seems to stop doing anything before 10.
4) How ridiculously easy High School was. I remember whining about it and how annoying it was... How wrong I was...
5) The true value of video games... Without Super Smash Bros, I think our whole dorm would've lost their minds! And without Star Wars: Battlefront The Tall One would've lost it and started shooting people! Fortunately he stuck just to shooting Algorithms instead. What's better after way too much studying than getting in virtual fights with your roommates every night? Oh yeah, making the loser do push ups! (got me back in shape)
6) Need is not the mother of invention... Avoiding Studying is!
To prove our awesome-ness, and just how true # 5 and 6 are... I thought I would show just how amazingly... awesome we are! Clearly procrastinating studying for finals, we found glitches in Super Smash Brothers. Yeah I know, we're pretty cool... How we did it was from a rumor that you could create a black hole. Sure enough we did it... then we IMPROVED upon it! Here's the basic idea:
But... We made it even more awesome. What we did was drop a fox in and Down-B at the same moment he would have gone in the black hole while he's still invincible.
Whala! Insta-Anti-Boredom! And yes... We did have enough time on our hands to find this...
I think that this all calls for a "Go America"... Yup, indeed.
Monday, May 3, 2010
After a sad goodbye to Provo and the most awesome people, and my trip to Washington I have found myself finally back in Pennsylvania. One strange encounter along the way was with a gas station in Oregon… where you can’t pump gas… stranger yet this is the way it must be in Oregon. People spend their gas station time watching someone ELSE pump their gas. I am glad I do not live in Oregon or I would need to find new ways to feel independent. I’d probably have to grow my own cereal or go fishing. I hate fishing. When I was ten I cried when I caught a fish by his eye. That was my first and last fishing experience.
But I am now back home to pumping my own gas and my immortal fish. Along with him being left at home when I went on Vacation and living a lonely fish life in a nasty bowl for 3 years he survived swimming in soapy sink water. I was hoping he would die when I was away at college so I wouldn’t have to wake up to him starring into my soul anymore but clearly he is not done with his goals in life. Most gold fish finish what they needed to do in life within a month of getting them. Figures I get a fighter as a last minute panicked Christmas present from my brother. Sorry I have nothing better to talk about than fish and gas. I’d tell you the crazy stories but you wouldn’t believe me. That or somebody with authority would read it. I hate it when that happens.
So no crazy stories but Ill leave you with two pictures because Nick has a rule about needing pictures in your posts and he likes facebook. and I aim to please. I like it when Harry Potter and Edward meets Mean Girls.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
And here's a movie that's pretty cool too! Kind on the same idea as the picture above:
Of course most importantly... Here are the renders of what I've been working on for my Computer Graphics Class... I think they're not half bad!
And Finally... Just because it worked, and my entire FHE and Kendall joined in: here's proof:
Hope you guys have enjoyed! (Most all of these pictures were found on http://www.ffffound.com)