The Adventures of the FLAMING MUSTACHE! and other-super-art-friend-self-portraits-that-aren't-spelled-in-all-caps.!

Alright Loitrons, its time for my first mission to be carried out. I feel safe to say that We, as authors, and me, being the all-powerful administrator, in particular, owe it to you to capture footage/pictures of the rumored, FLAMING MUSTACHE! As brought up earlier by Nicole, BYU currently hosts a giant mustache from Down Under (and I mean the real down under, not Australia, unless Australia suddenly erupts into flames, down under as in referring to... you know... S-H-Double Hockey sticks... or... Wait... you know what I mean). On top of this, what confuses me most of all is the fact that the FLAMING MUSTACHE of power claims to be a "Self Portrait."



I mean I know there are a plethora, yes plethora, of things in the art world I don't understand but this one takes the cake... Either a flaming mustache truly did make this portrait... which would be ridiculous! Or the person has a mustache and has since been set on fire, following which he turned to art as an outlet for his emotions hidden beneath all the bandages... I take art very literally after all...

Taken by me during the day

And by not-me at night

Another startling piece of art was up not long ago in the BYU building of artists (HFAC) which was of torn cloth in a circle connected to rods along the circumference... At first I hoped it would look like the E8 root system, or whatever it is called, below (insert arrow pointing down here). But when we got to the 5th floor, it was much... less...



It still looked kind of cool... But I wonder if it was once again a self portrait. Its saying something like "I could look way cooler, but I'm incomplete..." Why does art have to be all thoughtful. Oh Well...

The true topic of interest this time around is the newest exhibit being featured which stars a taxidermied chicken... Yes... Let me repeat it for you in case you didn't hear/read it correctly. (I say hear for those of you who have not yet learned to read and are still living in the basement of your parents though you are 37.) Here we go. A TAXIDERMIED CHICKEN! I really really really wanna know what this is all about but all the sign tells me is pretty much 'you don't need to know!' I mean seriously look at this:

"The killing of this animal was a very spiritual experience for me. Its the first animal I have ever killed" - What the sign said.

Ok... So bad news... I returned to the HFAC only to find that the newest exhibit is now the 2nd newest exhibit... I apologize... in fact I'm going to try to steal James' hamster... The arts are just stealing other people's work after all! But without that picture of the dead chicken... that last sentence in the previous paragraph seems oddly... lacking... Even with my italics that I made up to try to cover up the whole thing... O well, anyway, I never got to be that ambiguous in school. If only that had worked in Trigonometry:

Question: What is the sin(pi/2)
Response: This is the first Trigonometry test I have ever taken. I'm sure the value of this experience to the rest of my life is greater than the true answer to this problem. I feel deeply moved...
Alternate response: This problem I feel is a Self Portrait of my life...


James' stolen picture I mentioned above... I love having all power...

I only wish the turkey, which did exist I promise, had been a Self-Portrait too. Man that would have been pretty dang awesome if I may say so myself... The number of confused people would be enormous! What, in the expanded universe of Star Wars, could that mean as a Self Portrait...

The only better name for any of the pieces above would be "Your Mom"...