The Chipotle Excursion

First off, I would like to thank Nick for the introduction, and I also nominate the picture he provided as the official photo of Progressive Loitering. I am James, and as Nick mentioned I am not Mormon, but Catholic. I’m also Canadian. Well, I was born there, grew up in the U.S., but technically was never American, and now I’m going to school in Canada again. It’s kinda complicated but not interesting enough to warrant explanation, but my goal is too persuade you that Canadians can be funny and interesting. Just you wait! So let’s jump into today’s topic.
University has presented many challenges to me. Along with the unfathomable amount of school work that is defecated onto me on a daily basis, I have to deal with choking down cafeteria food, trying to keep laundry organized, walking about 10 miles a day to get from class to class, and dealing with tests so hard that the class average is 38% (*cough* physics).
Canada itself presents whole new challenges: No more one-dollar bills, no Hulu.com, no sunlight, and many other things which will have to wait for later discussion. However, new information has come to light! My life has become a little easier. You would think, like I once did, that Canada, with all those polar bears to feast on, would not have a Chipotle Mexican Grill. BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG!
Yes, as it turns out, there is exactly 1 Chipotle in the entire country of Canada. Think about that. 2nd largest country in the world, 3511003 square miles of land, over 33 million people, and 1 Chipotle. Now where is this Chipotle, you may ask?



BAM. That’s right. The A marks the location of my residence, and the B marks the location of heavenly burrito goodness. And they are only 1.5 km apart (just under a mile for those of you who don’t speak Canadian). Now, Loiterers, I am going to embark on an approximately 17 minute journey to this Canadian Chipotle, but I will be back to share my story! Will it look as good? Will it taste as good? What is the area of a circle? All these questions will be answered when i get back!


I’m back!
Thanks for waiting. So my trip to Chipotle actually did take 17 minutes, which I find a little disconcerting. How does Google know these things? Pretty soon here you’ll just be able to google what gender your future kid will be and when you’re going to die, just wait. But I digress.
I will now give you the play by play of my experience at Canadian Chipotle.

Upon arriving at Chipotle, I first observed the sign, which is pretty much the same as American ones. A lot of people try to say that Chipotle is not “real” Mexican food, but I will counter them with this picture. I hope you know that this was taken while I stood looking like an idiot in the middle of the sidewalk of the busiest street in Toronto. The things I do for you Loiterers...


As you can clearly see, the restaurant asserts its Mexican authenticity right on the sign! I’m glad that’s settled.
The restaurant itself has the same design as the ones in Colorado that you and I know and love. Everything from the metal ceiling tubes to that weird red and beige color combination was spot on. I felt like I was back home!


I ordered my usual, the steak fajita burrito, with hot sauce, cheese, and lettuce. However, a peculiar occurrence occ...urred when the server put in only about half a spoonful of rice in my tortilla! I stared blankly in astonishment at the pathetically small pile of rice sitting in the center of the tortilla before finally snapping out of my stupor and demanding more rice. Luckily, adequate amounts of steak and peppers were put in, so I will consider it a small grievance.
After paying for my drink and burrito, I made my way to the vending machine only to discover, to my horror, that none of the available soda options were Dr. Pepper! I nearly fainted. Apparently, according to my friends, Dr. Pepper is not a popular or common drink up here. Mr. Pibb is non-existent. With shame and sadness I filled the cup with boring old Coke.
But there was hope! I knew my burrito would cheer me up!


And it did not fail me! Such incredible ingredients coming together in an orgy of taste! It was like my tastebuds were high...on life!

This is your tastebuds on Chipotle

My only complaint about this orgasmic burrito experience was that upon finishing the thing I was still hungry. I estimate that the Canadian Chipotle burrito is roughly 3/4 the size of the American one. While this is probably healthier, I’ve always considered the feeling that one’s stomach is about to rupture a rather essential part of the Chipotle experience. I guess I’ll have to sacrifice that while I’m here. Overall, Canadian Chipotle looks good, tastes great, and the area of a circle is pi times the radius squared!
Welcome to the blog, Loiterers!